


'Tis But a Scratch

by JayDick_Hell



Series: JayDick Fic Event [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Comedy, Dick has no concept of injuries, Jason is just Done, M/M, Paramedic!Jason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 03:55:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13732617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayDick_Hell/pseuds/JayDick_Hell
Summary: Dick was having a pretty bad day. But, hey! At least the guy he was stuck next to was hot. Too bad he's also beingcompletelyunreasonable, in Dick's totally unbiased opinion.In other words: Dick is a 'responsible adult' (read: he's utterly ridiculous) that can't flirt and Jason is beyond Done.





	'Tis But a Scratch

**Author's Note:**

> #3 in the JayDick-Hell Fic Event!
> 
> For: Cherrymiko-art
> 
> Some day I'll stick to my 'under 1k' limit for this event. Today was not that day. _So close._
> 
> Catch me on Tumblr: [JayDick-Hell](http://jaydick-hell.tumblr.com/)

Dick was having a rather bad day. He woke up with a headache, lost his left shoe, burned his breakfast, and now he was running late for a meeting with Damian's teachers. The only reason he had to go to the meeting was because Bruce was in Hong Kong on business. Damian decided that it was acceptable to punch not one but _three_ children after he heard them bullying another kid. Dick actually approved of the action but he had to pretend he was a 'responsible adult' and didn't condone what happened once he got there. He decided he'd treat his brother to some ice cream later for defending the kid. That is, if his horrible luck doesn't cause the ice cream shop to blow up before they get there or something like that. It was only just after noon and he already wanted to crawl back into bed or maybe a ditch somewhere.

On the bright side, the man next to him was really hot. That made up for some of the bullshit life decided to throw at him today. Still, he was _late._ Dick absolutely hated being late for anything, especially if it involved his baby brother. The kid had enough issues without thinking Dick didn't want to be there because his dumb ass couldn't find his shoe on time. With that in mind, he turned to look at the absurdly attractive man beside him and flashed a bright smile in hopes of buttering him up.

"Yeah if you could just drop me off at the next exit, that'd be great."

The unexpected words seemed to catch him off guard as he startled slightly before shooting Dick a somewhat confused look.

"Sir, you're in an ambulance."

Yeah, there was also _that._ As if just noticing, Dick looked around the small space then down at the stretcher he was on. Really, he didn't expect to be let out of here but hey, it was worth a shot. He had places to be, after all. Then, he turned his attention back to the unamused paramedic currently looking over his vitals. As if he could feel Dick staring, he looked up and caught his gaze. Man, he had some seriously pretty eyes. The painkillers he was on right now were _amazing,_ though they did absolutely _nothing_ for his control over his mouth. Charming grin firmly back in place, Dick decided to test his luck.

"Huh, and here I thought you wanted to strap me to this bed for fun."

The eyebrow wiggle he tacked on was more on the side of comical than suggestive. It was enough to draw an amused little snort from the burly man. And boy, was he muscular. What, did this paramedic bench his patients or something? Dick could only hope he was so lucky. Rather than respond, he went back to his job but there was a telling spread of crimson across his cheeks. Hot, muscular, _and_ professional? Talk about 'out of one's league'. It was the high chirp of his phone alerting him to a text that brought him back to reality. Shit, he was _really late_ now. Dick began to squirm to sit up. It was made remarkably harder when he was being restrained in an effort not to further exacerbate his wounds. Finally, after figuring out that he wasn't going to escape, he settled back down with a frustrated huff of air and a narrowed look at the man.

"Seriously though, I'm late for a meeting and my little brother's gonna _kill_ me. Can I just like...tuck and roll?"

The way he was eyeing up the back doors was none-too-reassuring. Anyone that knew Dick knew he would absolutely jump out of a moving vehicle, injured or not. It earned him a wary and exasperated look.

"Sir, you were just hit by a car."

It was clear the paramedic assumed Dick was a little out of it given how he was re-examining the injured man's eye dilation. When it was made obvious that no, Dick wasn't concussed, and yes, he really was just like this, he got a little glare for his reckless nature. In return, Dick gave a sheepish sort of grin and shrugged.

"Really, I'm fine."

That got him a flat look in response. Okay, so maybe 'fine' was stretching it just a little. But an ambulance? Completely unnecessary, in Dick's humble opinion. He's hurt himself worse doing gymnastics in his backyard, not that this guy knew that. Maybe if Dick regaled him with tales of his acrobatic skills, he'd be impressed enough to go on a date.

"Your leg is _broken_."

Okay, so wowing him with flips would have to wait for a little bit, it seemed. Again, Dick just shrugged like being hit by a car and breaking his leg was nothing.

"Tis but a scratch."

The paramedic paused what he was doing to give Dick a slightly bewildered look at his choice of words. Ahh, so he wasn't the only Monty Python fan, it seemed. Put that down as yet another reason Dick wanted to go out with this guy.

"Wait, did you just-"

Before he could finish his inquiry, the doors opened and more people appeared to get their new patient into the hospital. Just as they began wheeling Dick toward the building, he shouted out toward the paramedic.

"Can I have your number?!"

It caused the man to hide his face in his hands and the red-haired man next to him to laugh loudly. Dick felt only slightly bad for that. When the painkillers wore off though, he was beyond embarrassed by his lack of tact and atrocious flirting skills. Looks like Babs was right, he really has been single way too long. That's when he noticed the slip of paper with a number and the name _'Jason'_ on it on the tray next to his bed. He silently fist pumped for that small victory. The glory was short lived because Damian came into his room moments later with a mixture of worry and fury on his features. Well, at least he's already in the hospital, right?

**Author's Note:**

> #DicksOutForParamedicJason
> 
> Like Dick, I too quote Monty Python in response to serious situations.


End file.
